Category: Satire

I am Jim Cousens. I don’t want to boast but, just so there wont be any confusion about how important my dockamentry films are to the future of mankind: “I am I am”.

In seeking a “show (chance) for freedom” with his friend, the runaway slave Jim, Huck Finn fled the constraints of houses and schools on land where he was “so cramped up and sivilized” and discovered on the mighty Mississippi River that, “You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.”

Huck’s creator, Mark Twain, learnt on travels abroad that “when you get used to terror your emotions get dulled.”

This describes the nation of sheep which is Australia: too many idiots following bigger idiots to their freedom’s doom. Increasingly a nation of slaves.

Now I am not a shrinking violet when it comes to pointing out what is wrong with Australia. As Mark Twain wrote: “To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, ” Our country, right or wrong,” and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?” A true patriot will try to fix what’s wrong with his country, not pretend that everything’s allright.

So today, Pear Harbour Day, is the perfect time for me to turn what’s wrong around by sneaking up on my commie enemies in government in Australia and invoking the Anzus treaty which was created to deal with the threat of communism.

Today, 7th December, 2022, in the year of Our Lord, I call upon POTUS 47, Mr Ron DeSantis, of the free state of Florida, to exercise his moral authority and abilities, which already far exceed those of Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., and to invade as much of Australia as is necessary to save Australia from the evil pinko threat of Criminal-In-Chief, Daniel Michael Andrews, and his protégé, Anthony Norman Albanese. Biden is a mostly pinko Catholic, so the job has to go to a proven Pope Benedict style Catholic like Ron, the Navy Lieutenant Commander from Jacksonville.

Without wanting to put any undue emotional pressure on Mr DeSantis, I do point out now that no one has ever compensated Australia for what was done in America to Phar Lap and to Les Darcy and, even worse, to Olivia Newton-John.

If Ron is feeling really energetic at this time, he could consider fixing up New Zealand as an added bonus. I say in conclusion, “It’s up to you, mate. Whaddayareckon?”

Jim Cousens, Pearl Harbour Day, 2022, Lostralia